God says in His word that, “My people are destroyed because of lack of knowledge and understanding” (Hosea 4:6), so we must… “Make them pure and holy by teaching them the truth, your words (God’s words) are truth” (John 17:17). The title of this tract seems somewhat deceptive, only because there really is no such thing as “safe sex for a single man”. (Single relates to anyone who is unmarried, including engaged).
In this day and time it is virtually impossible to find an adult male virgin, or at least a man who would willfully practice abstinence until his appointed wedding day. These are possibly the only two biblically acceptable options for a single man concerning the topic of sexual relationships.
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. (Hebrews 13:4)
According to the Bible, when there is sexual intercourse something happens to each participant, (intercourse is any intimate exchange of physical, emotional, and spiritual parts). This phenomenon occurs at the innermost core of the very soul, and could possibly affect both persons for the rest of their lives.
What happens is that you are bound together in body, soul, and in spirit. That is why some people find it so difficult to pull away from a relationship without some type of emotional pain or discomfort once intercourse has occurred. Some might be affected more than others as far as emotions go, but each person is affected spiritually, as well as physically. There is no way to separate the two persons after sexual intercourse without each of them leaving vital “parts” of themselves behind, and without also taking “parts” of the other person with them. When you engage in the “Act of Marriage”, you actually do become “married” to that person spiritually.
Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which belongs to Christ, and join it with that of a prostitute (not your spouse)? Never. And don’t you know that if a man joins himself together with a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The scriptures say, “The two are united into one”. But the person who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. (1 Corinthians 6: 15-17)
Run away form sexual sin? No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you, and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So now you must honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
As a whole, society has come to the place where all we want is to satisfy the flesh. It doesn’t matter where, when, who, or why. We must teach our men (young and old), that if we don’t want to be stereotyped as dogs, then we will have to stop behaving like dogs. In this day men have no regard, no respect, no standard, no inner strength, and no morals concerning sex.
Don’t you know that those who do wrong will have no share in the kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, who are idol worshippers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers, and swindlers, none of these will have a share in the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9,10)
Unrestricted sex is unfortunately believed to fully satisfy our needs, but there is no way you can’t fill a spiritual void with a physical vice, no matter how good it may “feel” to you. You still feel an emptiness inside of you, because what you are really searching for is to be filled with God’s precious holy spirit!
But our bodies were not made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:13)
The reason that people so freely give away their virginity today is because they really have no idea how valuable they are to God. They do not realize how He feels about sexual purity, or even how important it is to wait until marriage to engage in the intimate “act of marriage”. You are special in God’s eyes!
And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. (Matthew 10:30) If you notice, the word used here is numbered, not counted. You can take the time to count all of the hairs on someone’s head, but it would not mean as much unless you had actually taken the time to number each and every hair. That shows you just how valuable you really are to God. That He is very concerned about every single detail of your life.
There is no possible way to ever enjoy sex the way that it was truly intended to be, if you don’t follow the rules of the one who created it. Satan takes everything that God has created (which is all good), and he perverts it, and uses it as a tool for deception, in order to kill, steal, and to destroy God’s people.
God created and ordained sex in marriage, for the purposes of: Procreation: (build families), God blessed them and told them, “Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it”. (Genesis 1:28)
Identification: (spiritual covenant), This explains why a man leaves his father and his mother, and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. (Genesis 2:24)
Pleasure: (intimate recreation), Although Adam and his wife were both naked, neither of them felt any shame. (Genesis 2:25)
Sexual intercourse is a spiritual covenant: A covenant is an agreement (or moral contract), made between two parties, and is usually sealed by a sacrifice, and with a sign of blood being shed and applied to the covenanters. In this case, it is done by taking vows, sealed by a sign (breaking the bride’s hymen, as the blood is smeared on the vagina, and the groom’s penis).
That is why you must make the commitment of marriage first, and then the covenant follows. Otherwise you are only living a lie before God, because you do not share a legally binding covenant with the person with whom you are committing the “act of marriage” with, which is a spiritually binding contract.
Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the spirit of God lives in you? God will bring ruin upon anyone who ruins this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you Christians are that temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16,17)
Sexual immorality is a sin that combines the natural, and the spiritual. Because your body is the temple of God, each time you have sex (which is believed to be a form of worship), you are actually worshipping God. So do not allow anyone to worship with you in God’s temple that should not be there. Otherwise you may indeed be “worshipping”, but which “god”? So don’t allow yourself, or anyone else to do anything that you wouldn’t want God’s Holy Spirit to see you doing in His temple.
So Christ has really set us free. Now, make sure that you stay free, and don’t be tied up again with the yoke of bondage.
(Galatians 5:1)
There is a major difference between being totally delivered from something, and overcoming it. If you know you have not, or still have doubts about whether or not you have been completely freed from sexual immorality, don’t hang around it, just flee the scene quickly! Don’t tempt your flesh; you may lose!
Be careful, watch out for the attacks from the devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Take a firm stand against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kinds of sufferings you are. (1 Peter 5:8,9)
If you’re engaged to be married- it is not a license for sex. God honors the “marriage bed”, not the “almost married bed”! It will be an intense time of strengthening for the both of you. If your love for God is not stronger than your love for yourself, or even for your future wife, you will surely do something that you will regret later. Can a man scoop fire into his lap and not be burned? (Proverbs 6:27) I promise you, the wait won’t be easy, but after it’s all over, the sexual intimacy will be more valuable, and even greater than you would have ever imagined.
God has called us to be holy, not to live impure lives. Anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human rules, but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. (1 Thessalonians 4:7,8)
Our emotions, and our desires can also be greatly effected by the types of music we listen to, movies, television programs, magazines, and even our families, and friends. So we must be careful about what we allow to enter into our eyes, and ears. The things that we feed ourselves (naturally, and spiritually), will be the controlling factors of what will control our minds.
God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honor, not in lustful passions as the pagans do, in their ignorance of God and his ways. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
Even if you have already accepted Christ into your life your physical desires, and your sexual drive will still be there, but you must learn how to control them until after you are married. If you find yourself still having sexual desires, don’t pray that God would remove them, they are only natural. Ask God for the strength to help you to control those feelings until the proper time. You must realize, once you have truly made up your mind to take a stand against sexual immorality, our true enemy, who is Satan, won’t like it one bit, and neither will your natural flesh. But God will reward you greatly for it.
Count (to consider) it all joy whenever various troubles and temptations come your way. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow, for when your endurance has fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything. (James 1:2-4)
Jesus Christ, this High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Can you imagine the amount of self-control that it took for Jesus not to sin? But He did it, and all because He loves us.
In order for one to remain pure, he must refrain from all of the acts and thoughts that might incite desires that are not in accordance with one’s virginity, or one’s own marital vows. You must control (put restrains on) your mind and your body in a way that is holy, pleasing, and honorable before God.
A man that is without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken down walls. (Proverbs 25:28)
You must learn how you can control your thoughts (think about, what you are allowing yourself to think about), control your eyes (watch, what you look at), control your ears (listen, to what you are listening to), control your hands (be cautious of how, and who you touch), control your tongue (examine what you are about to say), and control your feet (be careful of where you go). Do something that is constructive, and Most importantly, be honest with yourself, and with God!
Every person in the Bible has had his or her own personal struggles with sin. The Apostle Paul who penned about half of the entire New Testament wrote a passage in Romans 7:15-19 that truly encouraged me, and comforted me in my struggle.
If you have made up your mind to change your ways, the first key to victory is to give God permission to keep you. You can’t do it alone. God knows that we have weaknesses, but there is no excuse for you to stay weak, and give in to them.
Remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. God is faithful. He will keep the temptations from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not have to give in to it. (I Corinthians 10:13)
What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun. (II Corinthians 5:17)
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice, the kind he accepts. When you think of what he’s done for you, is this too much to ask? Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. (Roman 12:1,2)
What is Un-Safe sex for the single man?
So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires. Don’t be greedy for the things of this life, for that is idolatry. (Colossians 3:5)
Lust- having an unhealthy desire for anything that is not in God’s will for your life, and fulfilling that desire if given the opportunity. (Matt. 5:28; Gal. 5:16,17; James 1:14,15; Ps 81:12)
Fornication- Intercourse, or any impure relations between unmarried persons. (I Cor. 7:2; Eph. 5:3; I Thess. 4:3)
Adultery- Intercourse, or any impure relations between a married person(s), and someone other than their own spouse.
(Ex. 20:14; Prov. 6:32; Matt. 5:28)
Sexual Immorality- The touching of the personal parts, or (either physically, or mentally) uncovering the nakedness of anyone other than your own spouse.
(Mark 7:20-23; Romans 13:11-14 I Co. 6:13b, 18)
Homosexuality- Intercourse, or any impure relationship between persons of the same sex. (Romans 1:24-32)
Effeminate- Men showing the qualities, or the characteristics that are attributed to women only. (I Corinthians 6:9,10)
Impurity- unclean, unchaste, or obscene thoughts, or actions.
(Eph. 5:4,5; I Thess. 4:7)
Shacking Up- a living situation of an impure relationship with someone who is not your spouse. (John 4:17,18)
Exploiting- taking advantage of someone else by means of depriving another of the moral purity that God desires for that person, in order to satisfy ones own selfish desires. To arouse within another person sexual desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled (within marriage), is also taking advantage of them.
(II Samuel 11:2-5)
And in conclusion… read Galatians 5:19-25
Now what must you do
if you fall under one or more of these categories?
REPENT! Admit to yourself that you do have a weakness, admit your sin to God, ask for His forgiveness, and then turn away from what you have been doing. You cannot just decide to repent. You have to Do It! You don’t make decisions; you have to live them. You can say out of your mouth that you will change a million times, but until you actually do it, you have not truly reached a decision to change your ways. Pray that Jesus will come into your heart, change your mind, and that He would give you His Spirit, so you will be saved.
I once lived an immoral life that was not pleasing to God. I practiced sin through fornication, shacking up, adultery, having impure thoughts, and a lustful heart. Just as in a drug addiction, I was addicted to the physical and emotional high that I received from sex. God’s grace, and His mercy found me. He took me in, right where I was. I asked God to forgive me, to clean up my heart, and keep me, and He did! He cleansed me, and He kept me, He forgave me, then He gave me a new life!
